One year ago today I was lying in Major Bay 4 of the Lynchburg Emergency Room with my first IV. I had no idea what was ahead of me in the coming New Year. It is surreal to look back at my face then. I don't fully recognize myself. It's been a transformative year to say the least. I had my heart broken, surgery, my ability to have children removed, cancer diagnoses, and chemo. You would think I would be super bummed about the past 12 months. But I'm not.
I'm glad to not recognize the girl lying in that emergency room. Through the pain and trial, a beautiful and free life was birthed. I found the love of my Savior was enough to not only mend my broken heart, but to fill it to bursting again with love and joy. I found the grace of my Father could give me peace beyond understanding in the face what should have been the darkest of days. I experienced freedom like I have never known and an appreciation of the depth of beauty of this life that I didn't know was possible.
I don't know what is coming in this New Year, but I am excited to meet whatever it is. Through this year, I have come to an understanding that I have nothing to fear. I have come to a place of acceptance of and a freedom to be who I was created to be, and it is a beautiful place to be.
You whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, “You are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off”; fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:9-10 ESV)